All-Name Teams
Mascot Trivia

Well, the smoke has finally cleared, and boy does it look ugly. Nobody got more than half of the Final Eight or more than half of the Final Four. Only 19 entrants got as many as three of the Final Eight (and in most years we’d be making fun of them). Fifty-one got two of eight. Forty-nine got a measly one (1) of the Final Eight (8). And, in a pool first, seven entrants failed to accurately predict a single Final Eight team: Ubaldini; Tiger; Silverman; Warmbier; January Man; Wanger; and R Karpp. Just one person, Baumgarten, got as many as four of the Final Eight. And lest you think that Baumgarten, who was also the leader going into the Tournament, knows something that the rest of us do not, we are obligated to report that Baumgarten got zero (0) of the Final Four, and has been eliminated from contention.

Only three contestants got as many as two of the Final Four: Gorman; Fitch; and FREG. Sixty-two entrants got only one of four correct, and an unbelievable 61 entrants were unable to get a single Final Four team right.

Only sixteen entrants still have their Champion involved (all with Michigan State: Geo B; Corrin; Cowboy, J Donadio, Jr.; Fitch; Golino; Huffnagle; B Joseph; Kasprzak; G Kedson; JV Kedson; P Leach; Mahalko; McGarrigel; McMoose; Shaw), although six lucky contestants have North Carolina as their Wild Card (Byrnes, DREG, Gordon, P Joseph, E Leach, S&R).

Our average score, 192.75, is more than 77 points worse than last year’s average score. Unless Carolina wins it all, this year’s pool champion will have the fewest points of any winner in pool history (no winner has had fewer than 308 points). And to add irony to insult, unless Michigan State wins, the pool champion will be an acronym (S&R). If Michigan State does win, we will have the first 1st place tie in pool history, between J Donadio, Jr. and Mahalko. And since S&R can be no more than one point ahead of second place hopeful P Joseph, we are assured our closest race ever.

Winners, depending on National Champion, are as follows:

Florida or WisconsinMichigan StateNorth Carolina
S&R252J Donadio, Jr.274 (tie)S&R327
P Joseph251Mahalko274 (tie)P Joseph326
$50 winner:
S&R (tie)J Donadio, Jr.S&R (tie)
P Joseph (tie)P Joseph (tie)

In almost as tight a race, Ubaldini has finished last, with 144 points, barely edging Silverman and Rourke, who each have 146 points.

As this year could easily be considered the year of the upset, it is perhaps only fitting that in the battle of the sexes, men came out on top of women, 192.91 to 191.72. Even more upsetting (at least to the adult population), children averaged 216.25, more than 24 points better than adults of either gender.

Among species, mutants (219.75) have proven their genetic superiority over fish (194.00), humans (193.02), and residents of New Jersey (190.11). Felines (187.67) are apparently indifferent that they finished only 3˝ points better than bottom-dwelling lawyers (183.31).

Urban Philadelphians (186.60) finished significantly behind Pennsylvania suburbanites (193.72) but comfortably ahead of New Jersey suburbanites (182.77). This year’s best region for pool-picking was apparently the Baltimore/Washington area (210.50), which easily outdistanced Western PA (204.11), New England (202.67), and the Deep South (190.75). North Jersey (199.63) beat South Jersey (182.77). And just about everyone beat New Yorkers, with Upstate New York (181.00) proving slightly better than the New York City area (178.75).

Upstart area code 610 (191.21) enjoyed a razor thin margin over 215 (191.11), but 609 (184.33) came back to show 856 (174.40) who’s boss (among area codes, anyway).

In the Tag Team competition, despite its heavy recruiting efforts, Arnie’s Army of Bridge Players and Stock Brokers (200.43) just can’t seem to win. This year, the Friends of JJ (202.10) emerged from the pack, slamming the embattled bridge boys (and girls). And in what undoubtedly is a bigger upset than Wisconsin making the Final Four, the Leach Clan (194.17) actually finished ahead of someone, with the ignominious honor going to the once-proud Nova Gang (181.25). Among people related to one of the commissioners, the Shaid/Kedson contingent (186.88) trounced the Natalini Group (180.00). We hesitate to even mention the Karpp/Disbrow crowd (158.67).

Within the Friends of JJ, the Joseph family (226.67) had such a big lead over the Donadios (197.00) and the Papalias (196.00) that perhaps JJ ought to find some new friends.

Among conjugal couples, the male half of the population managed to win exactly half the time (Men: B D’Zuro over K Sullivan; J Donadio, Sr. over ME Donadio; Claude over Hanson; D Kedson over S Shaid. Women: B Joseph over J Joseph; M Kedson over G Kedson; Disbrow over R Karpp; and Abrams over Rosen). And in quite a sad story, Rosen (the only two-time champion in pool history) not only lost to his wife by 45 points, but couldn’t even beat his pet fish.

In families with children, the kids spanked their parents in 9 of 15 contests (Children: Adams over Coach Doc; B D’Zuro over L D’Zuro; Bill & Bud Acchione over Butch Acchione; Claude over RC Natalini; Walker over Seidel; P Joseph over B Joseph & J Joseph; M Josephs over D Josephs; J Donadio, Jr. over J Donadio, Sr. & ME Donadio; and McMoose over Joe Mc. Parents: Disbrow & R Karpp over S Karpp; E Leach over P Leach; M Kedson & G Kedson over D Kedson; Peter O’Brien over Pat O’Brien; B Shaid over S Shaid).

In the name game, Johnny came marching home, as the Johns (or Jons) (201.50) crushed the Mr. Bills (196.60) (oh no). The early leader Marks were off (195.75) but still finished ahead of the Bobs (190.14) and the Mikes (188.11). The Susans (184.33) made a big comeback, finishing slightly ahead of the below-average Joes (184.00) and Brians (181.33). The Ricks (170.67) were so far behind the next highest name that they ought to seriously consider pseudonyms (we understand SirValiant is available).

Teachers (208.50) apparently know more than students (199.17), who know slightly more than practicing attorneys (199.00). Retirement (191.73) leads to wisdom, at least compared to working as an Engineer (191.50), Accountant (182.78), or Computer guy (181.00). Would you buy a used widget from a Salesperson (176.71) who was more than 15 points below average? Well, maybe you would if you got advice from a Consultant (171.33), who’s more than 5 points worse than that.

Last year’s top employer, T. Rowe Price (210.50) almost did it again, but went down before Vibroplating (211.00). Self employed individuals (194.29) were next. PaDOT (191.88) managed a victory over Urban Engineering (191.50). Hopefully, the Delaware Investment Group (186.67) is better at financial management than they are at picking pools.

Mascot Trivia and All-Name Teams follow. As always, it’s been fun running the pool.

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As always, the commissioners have spent more time than can reasonably be accounted for by mere quirkiness assembling "All-Name" teams. So, here goes:

SirValiant Brown (GW)Bishop Ravenal (Wofford)
Majestic Mapp (UVa)Brian Cardinal (Purdue)
Commander King (N Ariz)JR Christ (Cal-Irvine)
Prince Ogbogu (Columbia)Vidal Massiah (St. Bon)
Chevalier Harris (SC St)David Messiah Capers (St. Bon)
(how many Messiahs can there be on one team?
Coach: God Shammgod (former Prov)

Paris London (Memphis St)Duany Duany (Wisconsin)
Taiwan Holmes (Navy)Nyambi Nyambi (Bucknell)
Yuanta Holland (Dayton)Ajou Ajou Deng (UConn)
Arthur Ireland (Denver)DeWy DeWitt (Ariz St)
Vegas Davis (Tennessee)Ivica Perica (Charleston So)
Roman Brown (Ark-L-R)Ruben Boumtje Boumtje (G-town)
Mars Melish (Manhattan)
Coach: Orlando "Tubby" Smith (Ken)

Souleymane Wane (UConn)unpronouncable sixth man:
Stromile Swift (LSU)Nnandubem Gabe Muoneke (Texas)
Mateen Cleaves (Mich St)Best Brothers (other than Taylor Bro):
Major Parker (Florida)Majestic Mapp has a brother named "Scientific"
Axel Dench (Gonzaga)SirValiant Brown has a brother whose middle name is SirLancelot

NOT IN NCAA TOURNEY (short names)NOT IN NCAA TOURNEY (long names)
Da'Mann Sanders (Oral Roberts)Sunday Eniojuken (Fairfield)
Alphah East (Quinnipiac)D'Quarious Stewart (C Fla)
Taylor Bro (W Mich)Zebulon Reid (W Carolina)
Fab Fisher (Fla Int'l)Sah-U-Ra Brown (Lehigh)
Pritt Liver (St Fran NY)Quilninious Randall (G Mason)

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After learning of the commissioners’ penchant for "All-Name" teams, a group studying abnormal psychology recently approached the commissioners hoping to include them in an upcoming study. After learning of the commissioners’ taste for mascot trivia, however, the group dismissed the commissioners from the study, labeling them "too abnormal." This year’s questions are:

(1) Name all teams in the tournament with nicknames that neither include a color nor end in ‘s’ (20 points for each correct answer)
(2) Name the most popular nickname (most teams) in the NCAA Tournament field (5 points)
(3) Among Cats, Dogs, Birds, and all other animals combined (non-human), which has the most teams in the field? (5 points)
(4) Name all colors that appear as part of the nickname of more than one of the teams in the field (5 points each)
(5) Name all nicknames that appear more than once in the field (2 points for each correct answer)
(6) Name the teams that fit into each of the following categories (1 point for each correct answer):
(a) Felines (7 teams)
(b) Canines (6 teams)
(c) Threatening Birds (3 teams)
(d) Threatening People (3 teams)
(e) Threatening Weather (4 teams)
(f) Non-threatening Birds (6 teams)
(g) Other Carnivorous Animals (3 teams)
(h) Azure Underworlders (3 teams)
(i) Trees and those who work with them (3 teams)
(j) Originally from Europe (4 teams)
(k) Originally from Asia (1 team)
(l) Runners, Climbers, and Aviators (5 teams)
(m) Might be found on a North American Dinner Table (4 teams)
(n) Water or found in or around Water (6 teams)
(o) Principal Characters in most 1940s Westerns (2 teams)
(p) Pacifists, People who give their time to Charities, Uplifting Film Titles, and People who track mud through the house (4 teams)
(q) Dolls, Marbles, Adjectives, Alcoholic Beverages, Ambulatory Citrus Fruit, and 19th Century Real Estate Developers (6 teams)

Note: We counted five teams twice, and one team three times.
Also, the commissioners continue to disagree on whether the Stanford Cardinal is a color, an individual bird, or a member of the Catholic Church Hierarchy, and thus "Stanford" will not be considered a correct answer to any question, ever.


(1) Illinois Fighting Illini, Hofstra Flying Dutchmen
(2) Bulldogs, with 5 (Fresno St., Gonzaga, Samford, Butler, and South Carolina St.)
(3) Birds, with 9. There are 7 Cats, 6 Dogs, and 7 other (non-human) animals.
(4) Just Blue, with 4 teams.
(5) Bulldogs (5, see above), Tigers (4, Jackson St.; LSU; Auburn; Missouri), Cardinals (3, Louisville, Ball St., Lamar), Wildcats (2, Arizona; Kentucky), and Blue Devils (2, Duke; Central Connecticut St.)
(a) Kentucky Wildcats; Arizona Wildcats; Jackson St. Tigers; LSU Tigers; Auburn Tigers; Missouri Tigers; Lafayette Leopards.
(b) UConn Huskies; Samford Bulldogs; Gonzaga Bulldogs; Fresno St. Bulldogs; Butler Bulldogs; South Carolina St. Bulldogs.
(c) Winthrop Eagles; Kansas Jayhawks; UNCW Seahawks.
(d) Illinois Fighting Illini; Seton Hall Pirates; Louisiana-Lafayette Rajin’ Cajuns.
(e) St. John’s Red Storm; Iowa St. Cyclones; Miami Hurricanes; Tulsa Golden Hurricane.
(f) Louisville Cardinals; Ball St. Cardinals; Lamar Cardinals; Creighton Blue Jays; .Oregon Ducks; Temple Owls.
(g) Wisconsin Badgers; UCLA Bruins; Florida Gators.
(h) Duke Blue Devils; Central Connecticut St. Blue Devils; DePaul Blue Demons.
(i) Indiana St. Sycamores; Ohio St. Buckeyes; Northern Arizona Lumberjacks.
(j) Hofstra Flying Dutchmen; Iona Gaels; Michigan St. Spartans; Valparaiso Crusaders.
(k) Cincinnati Bearcats (a Bearcat is also known as a Lesser Panda, and is indigenous to Asia).
(l) Utah Runnin’ Utes; ULNV Runnin’ Rebels; Appalachian St. Mountaineers; Dayton Flyers; Hofstra Flying Dutchmen.
(m) Texas Longhorns (beef); Arkansas Razorbacks (pork); Oregon Ducks; Maryland Terrapins (an edible sea-turtle).
(n) Pepperdine Waves; Maryland Terrapins; Florida Gators; Oregon Ducks; Seton Hall Pirates; UNCW Seahawks.
(o) Oklahoma St. Cowboys and Southeast Missouri St. Indians.
(p) Pennsylvania Quakers; Tennessee Volunteers; Indiana Hoosiers; North Carolina Tar Heels.
(q) St. Louis Billikins; Utah St. Aggies; St. Bonaventure Bonnies; Purdue Boilermakers; Syracuse Orangemen; Oklahoma Sooners.


1 - More than we expected.
2-20 - More than we hoped.
21-50 - More than you should admit.
51-135 - The team of Abnormal Psychologists wishes to contact you.

Standings Going into Final Four
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NameScoreConf ChampsWild CardChampion
S&R25211North CarolinaStanford21
Phoebe Joseph25112North CarolinaTemple21
Jeff Clark24414PurdueTemple31
Ellen Gordon24211North CarolinaCincinnati11
Marc Reider23918IllinoisDuke31
DREG23613North CarolinaCincinnati2
John Donadio, Jr.23412PurdueMichigan St31
Ed Leach23412North CarolinaCincinnati2
Nick Mahalko23414PurdueMichigan St21
Bill Byrnes22811North CarolinaCincinnati1
Mike Papalia22814PurdueDuke21
Sarah Adams22715IllinoisStanford31
Bill Gorman22710Seton HallCincinnati32
Colin Fitch2248IllinoisMichigan St32
Neil Baumgarten22216VirginiaCincinnati4
Coach Doc22211PurdueStanford21
Peter O'Brien22211PurdueDuke21
Leo L.22013PurdueDuke21
Betsy Joseph21911PurdueMichigan St21
McMoose21916St. John'sMichigan St21
Matt Josephs21614St. John'sArizona31
Bob D'Zuro21413St. John'sDuke31
Bob Shaw21412PurdueMichigan St11
Justin Kestner21313St. John'sCincinnati21
Susan Abrams21211PurdueCincinnati3
Al Alberts21112PurdueDuke11
John Joseph21013St. John'sCincinnati21
Andy Kennedy21014Seton HallDuke11
Ed Leeds20912St. John'sStanford31
Brian Corrin20815IllinoisMichigan St21
Mom Kedson20712Seton HallStanford21
Chris Dean2059Seton HallStanford31
Frank Conte2048PurdueCincinnati21
Grandpa Kedson20212St. John'sMichigan St21
David Josephs20111IllinoisStanford31
Matt Mazeffa20113St. John'sCincinnati21
Cuz Papalia20110Cincinnati21
FeVeCeRe19914St. John'sCincinnati11
Jack Vincent Kedson19912St. John'sMichigan St21
Perry Leach19910St. John'sMichigan St31
Patrick O'Brien19911PurdueDuke2
Kate Sullivan19911PurdueCincinnati2
Bill McGarrigel19813St. John'sMichigan St21
Paul Brady19713MissouriCincinnati3
John Donadio, Sr.19711St. John'sCincinnati21
Kevin Grande19711St. John'sStanford21
Chris Nowakowski19712PurdueStanford1
Bobbie Shaid19617Seton HallTemple1
Donnell Sheppard19614St. John'sTemple11
Tom Golino19513St. John'sMichigan St21
David Kedson19510DePaulDuke21
Domino Leach1959PurdueDuke2
Audrey Kohart19413St. John'sStanford11
Joe Rogers19413St. John'sArizona11
Kona Rosen19413St. John'sStanford11
Geo. B.19311IllinoisMichigan St11
Brett Connelly19212MissouriStanford3
Richard McGuire19110Seton HallCincinnati21
Kevin Kasprzak18912St. John'sMichigan St11
Arnold Selig18910VirginiaDuke21
Clinton Walker18911PurdueCincinnati1
Oliver W. Brooks1889Seton HallStanford11
Bob Huffnagle18710Seton HallMichigan St11
Mark Piccirillo18711Cincinnati11
Buddy Acchione18612IllinoisOklahoma St3
Lou C.18612IllinoisTemple3
Joe Mc18612DaytonDuke11
Bob Peloso18612St. John'sStanford11
Michael Donnelly1858St. John'sDuke21
Bill Acchione18413St. John'sDuke2
Claude18413St. John'sTemple2
Eesara Kedson18411St. John'sTemple11
Manny Pogach18414Seton HallCincinnati1
Troy Kane18310Seton HallDuke2
Bruno Pappasergi18312St. John'sCincinnati11
Cowboy1828MissouriMichigan St21
Laura Harlan18214IllinoisCincinnati1
Rick Schlegel18212St. John'sDuke2
Mark Tiger18211PurdueStanford
Michael Baer18111Duke11
GREF18113St. John'sDuke2
Marshall Linton18113St. John'sStanford2
Jack Henderson1808PurdueDuke1
Brian Creelman17815DePaulTemple1
Todd Pappasergi17815St. John'sDuke1
Rob McMullen1779DaytonStanford3
Susan Hanson17510St. John'sStanford2
Marc Kleiman17510Duke2
Michael Einbinder-Schatz17411St. John'sTemple2
Rick Simon17310Seton HallDuke1
Joe Glowacki17210NavyDuke2
Jay Yantosh17213DePaulStanford2
Mike Scott17113St. John'sCincinnati1
Manute16912St. John'sStanford1
Longin D'Zuro16711St. John'sStanford1
Ken Gold1677North Carolina StTemple11
Packer1678Seton HallArizona2
Norm Rosen16711St. John'sTemple1
Sandy Disbrow16612St. John'sCincinnati1
Barry Gladstein1669IllinoisOhio State1
Susan Shaid1667St. John'sStanford2
Jon Broder16513St. John'sTemple1
Randy Wanger16512IllinoisDuke
Jim Budwell1639St. John'sCincinnati1
Mash Leach1628IllinoisStanford2
Rich Warmbier16212St. John'sDuke
Butch Acchione1609LouisvilleCincinnati1
Mary Ellen Donadio1609St. John'sStanford1
January Man16014KentCincinnati
Richard Salus1609VillanovaStanford1
Chico Papalia1598DaytonTemple2
Brian Pinheiro15811St. John'sCincinnati1
Barbara Spitz15811St. John'sDuke1
Russell Karpp15711St. John'sStanford
Robert C. Natalini1579St. John'sCincinnati1
Richard Seidel15610St. John'sDuke1
Sam Karpp1537HofstraTemple1
Bill Rourke14610Seton HallCincinnati1
Paula Silverman14610Cincinnati
Michael Ubaldini1449Stanford