All-Name Teams
Mascot Trivia

In a year where two #1 seeds, a #2 seed, and a #3 seed made the Final Four, you’d think that lots of people would have eligible champions, wouldn’t you? Well, I suppose you wouldn’t if you had any familiarity with our contestants. While it’s true that 51 entrants chose Duke as National Champion, only seven chose Michigan State (Claude; A Gatto; P Hastings; Koufax; Mike Mc; Perez; Sixpack), only five selected Arizona (Alberts, Brady, Clark, Crane, Nowakowski), and nobody chose Maryland.

So, we guess it makes sense that our leader is still in diapers. Yes, one month old infant Brandon Kedson is currently in first place, with 307 points. But, don’t cheer too loudly – he’s currently sleeping. Breathing down B Kedson’s tiny little neck is P Joseph, with 305, and Brady with 302.

Speaking of Brady, our all-time record holder for most points (379) is one of three contestants who might become repeat money winners. In the first eleven years of the contest, only two-time champion Rosen and a pair of alliterative Acchiones (Butch and Bill, who each have finished third twice, once tied with each other) have managed to finish in the top three on more than one occasion. But this year, Brady (1st in 1996), Harlan (1st in 1993) and Alberts (2nd in 1996) are all threatening to imply that success in our contest is not random. Yikes.

All money winners, depending on National Champion, are as follows:

DukeMichigan StateMarylandArizona
B Kedson347Claude312B Kedson307Brady342
Harlan337 (tie)B Kedson307P Joseph305Clark331
B Pappasergi337 (tie)P Joseph305 (tie)Brady302Alberts330
P Hastings305 (tie)

If Michigan State wins, then for the second straight year, an altruistic non-paying entrant would have won some money had he or she just forked over the tenspot. This year, P Hastings took the high road, and he’ll be poorer for it. Since P Hastings didn’t pay the fee, then if Michigan State wins the full third-place share will go to P Joseph.

At the bottom, Stanford’s untimely demise dashed Spitz’s dreams of 3rd-to-last place. As it is, she finished last, with 184 points, but had the Cardinal triumphed, she would have hopped ahead of Rourke (188 points) and B Brooks (193), and would have tied with Droopy Leach (204). She would not have caught Baer (204) because he also chose Stanford (not that Baer’s 5th-to-last place finish is anything to write home or anywhere else about). In Rourke’s defense, if Duke wins, he’ll jump out of 2nd-to-last place and into mediocrity.

Bland self-destructed, and is currently tied for 39th place.

The best Wildcard performances were turned in by Lawsin and M Einbinder-Schatz, both of whom chose Temple. Unfortunately, that astute pick did absolutely nothing to enhance their overall chances of winning.

Two contestants (Alberts and J Joseph) got six of the Final 8 correct. Lawsin also got six, counting wildcard Temple. 35 others got five of eight, 23 guessers got only three of eight, and four entrants (Huffnagle; Joe Mc; D Simon; and B Brooks) had the misfortune to correctly select only two of the Final 8.

The efficiency award goes to Burger, who can boast three of his Final 4, but correctly selected only those same three in his Final 8. Altogether, twelve lucky entrants were correct on three of their Final 4 (Burger; K Wanger; Perez; Nowakowski; P Joseph; J Kedson; D Kedson; B Kedson; Brady; Clark; Rugani; and B Pappasergi).

The good-news-bad-news award goes to Haklar and D’Zuro, both of whom got five (5) of the Final 8, but zero (0) of the Final 4. Including Haklar and D’Zuro, six unfortunate ones managed the goose-egg in the Final 4 (Haklar, D’Zuro; Linton; Tyler; J Einbinder-Schatz; and E Green).

Among species, lawyers (with an average score of 259.13) continue to strive for the upset of the year, currently leading humans (253.61), felines (242.67), and mutants (238.50). And frankly, with an average score of 204.00, the musical question really ought to be, "who let the dogs in?"

Women (258.54) have expanded their lead over men (252.07), but we hope parents of all genders will accept our advice: don’t bet with the kids – children (271.60) own a commanding lead over their adult counterparts. Our overall average score is 253.03.

In the last newsletter, we suggested that someone was robbing Peter to pay Paul. Well, Paul (282.33) must have charged plenty, because that name leads the second place name, Jeff/Geoff (266.67) by almost 16 points. Next are the dear Johns (264.50) and the Davids (260.60). The poor Peters (259.25) have been relegated to the middle of the pack, jockeying for position with the Chris’s (256.67), the Bobs (252.25) and the Mikes (250.40). The below-average Joes (246.33) at least won’t have to pay the Bills (241.17), and the Ricks (236.75) have somehow managed to be in dead last without the susceptible assistance of the seemingly superfluous Salus.

In a departure from the norm (and we don’t mean two-time winner Norm Rosen), former winners of the pool are actually doing better than most, averaging 270.33, while former second place winners average 255.50 and former third place winners average 251.75. Paying entries (253.23) were filled out slightly better than non-paying ones (251.75).

The Tag Team tallies have tightened. Currently the Hoss Group (259.86) owns a slight lead over Team Atlas (256.67), Arnie’s Army of Stock Brokering Bridge Players (254.50), and the Nova Gang (248.60). The Koufax Syndicate (245.70), which debuted in such promising fashion, has sunk so low that it leads the Leach Gang (245.67) by only 3 one-hundredths of a point.

Among families, the J Joseph family (277.00) clearly eats a better brand of Wheaties, almost ten points ahead of their nearest competitor, the Kedson crowd (268.67), who at least own a slight lead over the Natalini household (263.75). The Donadios (251.33) are clearly basking in the reflected glory of their relationship with JJ, and the once proud D’Zuros (240.33) are saved from ignominy only by the existence of the Leaches (233.25).

For the second straight year, Vibroplating (284.00) is tops among employers, T. Rowe Price (266.67) is second, and "Self" (258.60) is third. Bucking the two-year trend, the Delaware Investment Group (255.60) staged a small comeback, beating out Urban Engineering (248.67) and PennDOT (240.67).

Occupationally speaking, computer people (274.50) are apparently pressing the right buttons, Controllers (271.00) are in control, and Managers (258.00) are managing to get by. Accountants (256.50) should probably begin working on a re-count, while those in the financial industry (252.50) are clearly starting to feel the strain of the new economy. Teachers (252.00) have finally shown students (251.67) that they still have a lot to learn. Syracuse students (239.33) need to do some better recruiting. Practicing attorneys (251.33) and engineers (247.75) have little to add to the dialogue, and retired people (245.40) probably ought to stay that way. And would you buy a used car from a salesperson (228.00) who was nearly twenty points behind the next lowest profession?

Regionally, North Jersey (277.00) crushed both South Jersey (260.67) and Central Jersey (251.33). The South (264.33) didn’t do it again, dropping behind Western PA (267.11) and the Washington/Baltimore Beltway (265.00). The Philadelphia suburbs (253.70) kicked Center City’s (243.83) collective butt. The northern parts of the country – New York City metropolitan area (240.50), New England (234.00), and Upstate New York (226.50) – remain too cold to visit.

Mascot Trivia and All-Name Teams follow. As ever, it’s been fun running the pool.

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The Commissioners have noticed that "All-Name" teams and mascot trivia have become popular among web commentators. As pioneers of this phenomenon, we have just one thing to say: pretty scary, eh? Anyway, here’s our take:

All-Name, First TeamAll-Name Second Team
Field Williams (Cincinnati)Major Parker (Florida)
Majestic Mapp (Virginia)Eze Burts (Southern Cal)
Golden Ingle (Western Kentucky)Royal Ivey (Texas)
Demon Brown (Charlotte)Titus Ivory (Penn State)
Tyler Taylor (Southern Utah)Syniker Taylor (Ole Miss)
Best Name NOT in Tournament: SirValiant Brown (GW)

All-Location TeamAll-Providence Team
Cleveland Davis (Hampton)Erron Maxey (Providence)
Kenya Carruthers (Iona)Romuald Augustin (Providence)
Ed Persia (Princeton)Maris Laksa (Providence)
Jeff Monaco (Southern Utah)Shieku Kabba (Providence)
Marseilles Brown (Hampton)Karim Shabazz (Providence)
Local Division: Trenton Hillier (Georgetown)Alumnus: God Shammgod (Providence)
NIT Division: Paris London (Memphis St)
Interstellar Div.: Orien Greene (Florida)

All-Brandon Team
Brandon Granville (Southern Cal)Brandon Miller (Butler)
Brandon Dean (Arkansas)Brandon Mouton (Texas)
Brandon Davis (Arkansas)Brandon McIntosh (Xavier)
Brandon Beck (UNC-Greensboro)Brandon Nicol (Iowa State)
Brandon Brock (UCLA)Brandon Smith (Michigan State)
Brandon Crump (Tennessee)Brandon Watkins (Penn State)

In light of our female entrants' clear superiority over our male entrants, we thought it only fair to include:

All-Name Team from the Women's NCAA Tournament
Rainy Crisp (Arizona State)
Misty Knight (Florida)
Essence Perry (Louisiana Tech)
Uri Honeysucker (Alcorn State)
Kinga Kiss (SW Missouri State)
Iciss Tillis (Duke)

Finally, a couple of questions:

Question #1: If Demon Brown (Charlotte) played Angel Branch (Alabama State) one-on-one, who would win?

Question #2: If Joe Sixpack exploded to the rack against Jonathan Beerbohm (BC), would the result be Warmbier?

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(1) Name all teams in the tournament with nicknames that neither include a color nor end in ‘s’ (20 points for each correct answer)
(2) Name the most popular nickname (most teams) in the NCAA Tournament field (5 points)
(3) Among Cats, Dogs, and Birds, which has the most teams in the field? (5 points)
(4) How many teams have a color in their nickname (5 pts.), and how many colors are represented (5 pts)?
(5) Name all nicknames that appear more than twice in the field (2 points for each correct answer)
(6) Name all nicknames that appear more than once in the field (2 points for each correct answer)
(7) Name the teams that fit into each of the following categories (1 point for each correct answer):
(a) Out of work, now that Cats is no longer playing on Broadway (8 teams)
(b) Bulldogs (4 teams)
(c) Canines other than Bulldogs (? teams)
(d) Birds (8 teams)
(e) Friends of Beelzebub (3 teams)
(f) Non-feline, non-canine, Clawed Mammals (4 teams)
(g) Pigs, Bugs, and Reptiles (5 teams)
(h) Plants (2 teams)
(i) Cattle and those who work with them (3 teams)
(j) Spent most of their time in the Balkans and/or Asia Minor (4 teams)
(k) Spent most of their time in the British Isles (2 teams)
(l) Fought in either the American Revolutionary or Civil Wars (5 teams)
(m) Pugilists and Plunderers (4 teams)
(n) Interested primarily in Real Estate or Mineral Rights (3 teams)
(o) Emotions, Prophylactics, and large Automobiles (3 teams)
(p) Related to Atmospheric Phenomena (3 teams)
(q) Meaningless nicknames beginning with H (3 teams)
(r) People dressed in unbecoming brown robes, filthy footwear, or citrus fruit (3 teams)

Note: We counted four teams twice, and didn’t bother with the Stanford Cardinal or the Utah State Aggies. So, sue us.


(1) Illinois Fighting Illini, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, and Hofstra Pride (the artists formerly known as the Hofstra Flying Dutchmen).
(2) Bulldogs, with 4 (Fresno St., Gonzaga, Georgia, and Butler).
(3) Birds and Cats tied with 8.
(4) Only 7 teams, representing 5 colors (Duke Blue Devils, Creighton Bluejays, Syracuse Orangemen, Stanford Cardinal, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Kent State Golden Flashes, and California Golden Bears).
(5) Just Bulldogs (4, see above).
(6) Bulldogs, Hawks (St. Joseph’s and Monmouth), Eagles (BC and Winthrop), Tigers (Missouri and Princeton), Wildcats (Kentucky and Arizona), Panthers (Georgia State and Eastern Illinois), and Spartans (Michigan State and UNC-Greensboro).

(a) Kentucky Wildcats, Arizona Wildcats, Missouri Tigers, Princeton Tigers, Georgia State Panthers, Eastern Illinois Panthers, BYU Cougars, Penn State Nittany Lions.
(b) Fresno St., Gonzaga, Georgia, Butler.
(c) None. Ha, ha, it was a trick question.
(d) BC Eagles, Winthrop Eagles, St. Joseph’s Hawks, Monmouth Hawks, Creigton Bluejays, Kansas Jayhawks, Temple Owls, Southern Utah Thunderbirds.
(e) Duke Blue Devils, Northwestern State Demons, Wake Forest Demon Deacons.
(f) UCLA Bruins, California Golden Bears, Cincinnati Bearcats, Wisconsin Badgers.
(g) Arkansas Razorbacks, Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Alabama State Hornets, Florida Gators, Maryland Terrapins.
(h) Indiana St. Sycamores, Ohio St. Buckeyes.
(i) Texas Longhorns, Oklahoma State Cowboys, Cal-State-Northridge Matadors.
(j) Michigan State Spartans, UNC-Greensboro Spartans, Southern Cal Trojans, Holy Cross Crusaders.
(k) Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Iona Gaels.
(l) Xavier Musketeers, George Mason Patriots, Virginia Cavaliers, Tennessee Volunteers, Mississippi Rebels.
(m) Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Illinois Fighting Illini, Hampton Pirates, Holy Cross Crusaders.
(n) Oklahoma Sooners, Western Kentucky Hilltoppers, Charlotte 49ers.
(o) Hofstra Pride, Southern Cal Trojans, Southern Utah Thunderbirds.
(p) Iowa State Cyclones, Kent State Golden Flashes, Hawaii Rainbow Warriors.
(q) Iowa Hawkeyes, Indiana Hoosiers, Georgetown Hoyas.
(r) Providence Friars, North Carolina Tar Heels, Syracuse Orangemen.

1 You’re exaggerating.
2-20 You’re kidding.
21-50 You’re lying.
51-163 You’re cheating.

Standings Going into Final Four
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NameScoreConf ChampsWild CardChampionFinal 8Final 4
B Kedson30716KentuckyDuke53
Phoebe Joseph30516St. Joseph'sStanford53
Paul Brady30215KentuckyArizona53
Laura Harlan29718KentuckyDuke52
Bruno Pappasergi29714KentuckyDuke53
Jeff Clark29114Western KyArizona53
Albert Alberts29014UCLAArizona62
Jack Vincent Rourke Kedson28712UCLADuke53
Chris Nowakowski28613UCLAArizona53
Paul Rugani28516South FloridaDuke43
David Kedson28412KentuckyDuke53
Arnold Selig28319KentuckyDuke42
Robert C. Natalini28116KentuckyDuke52
Winnie Lawsin28010TempleFlorida52
Curt Whiteside28016UCLAVirginia42
Audrey Kohart27816CreightonDuke52
John Joseph27713St. Joseph'sDuke62
Kevin Kasprzak27615CreightonIllinois52
Peter O'Brien27513UCLAStanford52
Sarah Adams27416KentuckyDuke42
Brett Connelly27414TexasDuke52
Colin Fitch27416KentuckyDuke42
Phyllis Linda Kedson27414UCLADuke52
Steve Smith27315ProvidenceDuke52
Claude27215KentuckyMichigan St42
Grandpa Kedson27213KentuckyDuke52
Coach Doc27012UCLAStanford52
DS Harvie27015UCLADuke52
Polly Shaffer26916St. Joseph'sDuke42
Jon Broder26617KentuckyStanford51
Perry Leach26614UCLAStanford32
John Donadio Sr.26513UCLAStanford42
Peter Hastings26516ProvidenceMichigan St42
Bruce DiMarco26415St. Joseph'sIowa State42
Matt Mazeffa26414UCLADuke42
Bob Peloso26213UCLADuke42
Miguel Perez26110TexasMichigan St43
Ryan Peters26112UCLADuke52
Calvin Bland26016UCLADuke41
Geoffrey Johnson26017UCLANorth Carolina32
Josh Lichtman26014KentuckyDuke51
Mike Mc26012KentuckyMichigan St42
Paul Naugle26015CaliforniaDuke42
Kelly Wanger26012St. Joseph'sDuke43
Chris Hurrell25913TexasDuke42
Joe Sixpack25916TexasMichigan St42
Bill Thorpe25914St. Joseph'sDuke42
Brett Bosse25814KentuckyStanford42
Todd Pappasergi25816UCLANorth Carolina51
Peter Bebee25716KentuckyBoston College41
Arrowman Bill25715UCLADuke42
Michael Einbinder-Schatz25712TempleDuke41
David Josephs25714UCLAIowa State51
Marc Kleiman25715UCLADuke42
Dodger Koufax25715St. Joseph'sMichigan St32
Adam Waldbaum25714KentuckyStanford51
Bill Acchione25615UCLADuke32
Susan Hanson25613UCLAStanford42
Rick Simon25613KentuckyDuke42
Brian Corrin25511UCLAStanford42
Ed Leach25515KentuckyDuke41
Packer Lombardi25514St. Joseph'sStanford32
Butch Acchione25412UCLAStanford42
Bill B25315UCLADuke51
David Simon25314KentuckyDuke22
Ed Leeds25213KentuckyNorth Carolina51
Grover Arms25114GonzagaNorth Carolina32
John Donadio Jr.25010KentuckyDuke42
Marc Reider25014UCLAStanford41
Jeff Connell24915UCLAIllinois41
Naomi Joseph24911UCLADuke42
Nick Mahalko24913Oklahoma StStanford51
Mario Quattro24915UCLAKansas41
Ashley Gatto24812Georgia TechMichigan St42
Philip Burger24711CreightonDuke33
Neil Baumgarten24613UCLADuke51
Frank Conte24613TulsaDuke32
Joe Glowacki24617CincinnatiDuke31
Randy Wanger24615Iowa State41
FREGRED ERGEF24414KentuckyStanford41
Jay Cardozzi24014KentuckyVirginia31
Cowboy Dallas24015St. Joseph'sDuke31
Matt Josephs24012KentuckyIllinois41
Pete Young24015ProvidenceDuke41
Simon Crane23915KentuckyArizona31
Bob D'Zuro23915UCLAIllinois5
MaryEllen Donadio23915KentuckyStanford31
Jim Greene23910Illinois52
David Ide23914ProvidenceDuke51
Rick Schlegel23913UCLADuke41
Elliot Green23716KentuckyFlorida4
Kate Sullivan23712KentuckyStanford41
Joe Mc23419UCLAKansas21
William Tyler23416KentuckyIowa State4
Rich Warmbier23415TexasStanford41
Oliver Brooks23313UCLADuke41
Jimmy Gunn23113North Carolina32
Jay Yantosh22913GonzagaStanford31
Ken Gold22811KentuckyVirginia31
Bob Huffnagle22710KentuckyDuke22
Christopher Kovolski22514ProvidenceUCLA31
George B22313Ohio StateIllinois31
Joshua Einbinder-Schatz22313St. Joseph'sStanford4
Kevin Grande22313ProvidenceDuke31
Marshall Linton22315ProvidenceStanford4
Jason Iorio22014UConnDuke41
Rick Morrison21816St. Joseph'sDuke31
Jerry Ostro2138St. Joseph'sNorth Carolina51
Domino Leach20810GeorgiaIllinois31
Mike Baer2049ProvidenceStanford41
Droopy Leach2047St. Joseph'sNorth Carolina41
Byron Brooks19310St. Joseph'sNorth Carolina21
Bill Rourke18812Duke31
Barbara Spitz18411St. Joseph'sMichigan31